by Tina Radojcic

Driving up to the Blue Mountains, in NSW Australia, I felt a massive resistance to attending the meditation retreat. It had been booked over a month in advance, but I had a never-ending to do list building and just ‘relaxing’ for a few days felt extremely daunting.

How very typical of our anxious minds to twist going into nature and staying present into something that you should feel guilty for!

Although I love meditation, I’ll admit I had been neglecting it in the days leading up due to the weekend as I was prioritising everything else in my life over relaxation, rushing to get it all ticked off to get onto the next thing, which is most people’s average week.

Simply just sitting with your thoughts is extremely difficult, and to be completely honest some days I would personally rather write a ten thousand word essay than have to try and tame the millions of tabs open in my head(and that’s saying something).

“Maybe I should just stay home this weekend? Maybe this is my gut telling me I’m not meant to be going?…” The thought trails sometimes feel endless.

I even got to Paramatta and genuinely considered turning around as I simply could not shut off during the drive, and it was making me more stressed trying to figure out whether I’d be able to successfully relax for 3 days straight!

It was 5pm, pouring rain and 2 degrees when I pulled up to the vintage brick cottage in the middle of the dense Katoomba Forest.

My slight Toyota Camry had almost drowned in all of the mud on the unpaved road there. After the extended drive I stepped out of my car to check in at reception, and stepped right into a puddle making both of my shoes wet. Love that for me.

I was given a key to my room by a radiant elderly lady less than half the size of me. I later learnt that she’d been meditating for over an hour everyday for the past 20 years, which I attributed to her beautiful glow. If that’s not meditation goals then I don’t know what is!

I opened the door to my room, keen to get warm after being drenched in the rain and bitten by the cold mountain air I hadn’t anticipated well enough.

There were already bags on both beds, and I was confused as to what was going on. We were meant to be assigned single rooms due to coronavirus but it looked like someone was already there. A middle aged lady with flaming red hair stumbled out of the bathroom and after seeing me in the doorway started screaming at me to get out.

I apologised and explained I had been given her room key, and would go and sort it out back at reception. Her reply was ‘Good, because I’m not sharing a room with anyone.’

I went back to the reception and explained the situation, but could not hold it against the lovely lady who had made an innocent mistake. She gave me a new room key and I promptly went to the next room, carefully checking no one was already in there as I opened the door.

Despite everything going hilariously wrong in the short space of arrival, I felt better then I had been in weeks. I always feel so much more clear headed being around nature, and I hadn’t even started meditating yet but found a comical aspect in things that would normally stir me up.

I realised it was okay to let things go wrong and just accept that I’m here for the experience, and as soon as I adopted that carefree attitude my experiences shifted and I began attracting positive, fun occurrences and met some incredible people.

Not having reception was a God send, and as soon as that last bar disappeared on my phone I felt free of the world’s commitments and could engage with the world in front of me with unprecedented clarity.

The backdrop of thick Eucalypt forest and winter pines added a blanket of much needed quiet to every activity of the weekend. There were no sounds of cars beeping, distant sirens or crossings wreaking havoc on my unsuspecting ears. Nature always has that amazing quality of gifting quiet, and I believe it’s the only time you can truly think.

Every chance I had I took a walk around the forest and property, which was originally owned by a Doctor in the late 1800’s who used to ride his horse and carriage to his practice in Katoomba everyday.

There were beautiful streams everywhere, running waterfalls and those pretty native trees that have alpine moss growing on the sides (which was a wonder to me being from the South Coast). It was the perfect meditation on nature heaven. I thought, that Doctor had the right idea so long ago, before phones, the internet and UberEATS (yes I went there), you really have to disconnect if you want to connect.

“You really have to disconnect if you want to connect.”

Approaching the end of the retreat I felt recharged and re-centred, and I honestly wanted to stay much longer. I even considered the feasibility of moving into the forest (but then I realised the logistics may be a bit beyond my scope,but hey it would be fun!)

Ironically where I had been so nervous to attend the retreat due to everything I ‘had’ to do, I was now nervous to turn my phone back on and have to go back to normal life! Clearly I still had more inner meditation that was needing to be done.

If there’s one thing I’ve learnt through yoga, it’s that the poses you feel most resistant to are the ones that your body needs the most. And I consistently find parallels with this theme and my life also- the days I don’t feel like meditating, or don’t feel like going for a walk in nature are the days that I need it most.

I have found that just committing to both practices daily and focusing on just showing up rather than doing it ‘perfectly’ has allowed me to progress further then putting pressure on myself to have it at 110% all the time.

If I can’t go for a hike that day, then I’ll settle for a short walk in the forest instead. If I don’t have time for a half hour meditation, I’ll just focus on being mindful while washing the dishes.

And these practices allow me to stay connected and centred in my own little ways on a daily basis, almost like mini-retreats for yourself which you get to experience every day.

When was the last time you truly felt connected to nature?

- Words by Marketing + Content Creator Tina Radojcic.

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